Welcome all of you who found me by way of the 40 Weeks blog! Nice to have you!
I’m spiffing up this blog here to get it ready for new visitors (and to try to keep the old ones around, haha)…so look for way more posting than usual!
So it’s another Fat Tuesday, and this year I’m considerably fatter (mostly because I’m five months pregnant, haha) and even more grateful for the blessings I’ve been given in the past year. There’s been some really hard spots (my mom’s cancer diagnosis/mis-diagnoses/surgeries, some financial issues) but overall, I really don’t have anything to complain about.
I’m trying to think of what to do for Lent. Lifeteen.com has a fun list of things to try if you are looking for something unconventional: not eating the last bite of your food, for example, or wearing the same four outfits for all of Lent. (That last one wouldn’t be good for me this year because I already wear the same four outfits because they’re the only maternity clothes I own!)
I’ve become somewhat disillusioned with my faith of late, and I think the reason why is because I got far too comfortable. I’m married, so I like to use the analogy; and I guess it’s sort of like I’ve been married to the Church for 31 years or so. And I look at folks who have been married for that long (my parents, for example) and try to see what keeps them going, because for them it’s not just routine. It’s not boring.
I guess when I think of my relationship to God and the church the feeling is that I should really go deeper. People say that all the time, but it’s really kind of hard to do. It takes extra effort, so maybe I’ll find something soon to help me focus on going deeper into my relationship with God. Because if I don’t, I would truly be lying to myself: how in the world could I ever think I’ve exhausted the limits of knowing Him? How could I ever say that I know absolutely everything that God can do, or has done, or what the fullness of His essence is?
Of course, it kinda hurts to do that. I love comfort. I wear my leisure pants into tatters because I love to be comfortable. I’m like that spiritually, too. I’ll wear my soul into tatters before I let it be shaken up by a bit of truth.
So maybe this Lent I’ll find a way to get into that deeper, quieter space and find God there. And there will be some major renewal going on, and it’ll be awesome. I hope you find the same for your Lent!